Finally

I am a little embarrassed, yet elated to say, it took me 58 years to connect with the Holy Spirit. I now understand so much that I have heard and read and sang about, countless times, but did not feel. The words in the bible have new meaning, as do the worship songs and all the talk of the peace of God and the joy from the Spirit. Let me tell you a little of what happened. I was in the deepest despair of my life. I was so tired of my battle for so many years with depression, and unhappiness and most of all, upset with the way it affected those close to me. I have tried medication and prayed many years and was finally at the end of my rope. I called out to God to either fix me or please take my life. I did not want to continue with this battle anymore because of the shame I felt from being such a burden to the one person I Love so much.  That evening as I sat on the edge of my mattress on the floor, I started to pray and cry. I thought Phimpha was gone for the night but she came in and seen me crying, so naturally we started to talk. We went over some verses in the bible, that God, had given her a few minutes earlier, in answer to what she, was praying for. Then as we talked she said, just now, God has told me verses that he wants you to read. I turned to it and started to read verse 6 and she said start at 5, so I backed up a verse. As I read, more and more tears began to flow and I had feelings like I have never known before from the touch of the Spirit. We talked and I cried. Most of the night I was awake, praying and confessing to God about the selfishness I could now see in my life.  I slept a couple of hours and when I awoke in the morning I was feeling like I had been hit by a Mack truck, but there was a smile on my face. I had unimaginable feelings of joy.  I smiled and cried and talked all day hoping it would hold. It has only been a week, but I know God has totally changed my life. God will not take back a gift He has given you. I do not understand how He did it but I can smile now at will. Unless you have been where I was, you can never know what that means. My face hurt for a few days from using muscles I had not used much before. I feel like a baby starting over with life. Phimpha cannot believe the change. We hurt those closest to us the most. My first wife Darlene also knows that, all too well. There is no way to take back all the bad past. I can only ask for forgiveness from God and those I have hurt. I am now going through all the new emotions and insight that comes with the Holy Spirit. Those of you who are connected know what I mean. Those who have never connected will not understand until they do. I urge you to never give up seeking Him and the gift He wants to give all of us. I, through my selfishness, which I did not see before, is what was blocking Him. He calls and speaks to all of us, but if your mind is not on His service, if you concentrate more on your needs instead of trying to help those around you, you will never know Him, through His Holy Spirit. For me the best way to describe the bottom was my inability to change myself. To stop hurting the ones I loved. God was not my first love. I see that now. I worked hardest to make Phimpha happy, as I believe most of us do in our marriages. I felt so worthless before God that evening. It is the letting go of ourselves that allows the Holy Spirit to work in us. I continue to Thank Him for His patience with me. Where to now? I do not know, but I know I have someone who will take me there as long as I remain humble enough to hear.

I have always known that God has a sense of humor. He has to have because we are made in His image. Anyway for many months while on Facebook and reading some of the posts from my Thai friends I would see them respond with 555 and nothing more. I could never figure it out till one day a few weeks ago I ask Phimpha if she knew what it meant. She said HA HA HA!    Oh! Dull me. The number 5 in Thai is pronounced HA. Same as we use LOL. I had been thinking about that over and over for some reason for many days and weeks. I thought it was quite cute. After I had studied the Bible verses He had given me I thought to myself, I need to remember this. So I turned back a page to see verse # 5. My memory is real bad so I was going to write it down but I did not have to. As I read it I laughed out loud. Isaiah 55:5  Even God knows how bad a memory I have. I am sooooo grateful He has been sooooo patient with me.

Your Brother in Christ

Rodney

Update

To All

I could write a book about what has happened since my last update but no time for that. The outside ministry is on a fast pace with many healings, casting out of spirits and lives turning to Christ. We are not sure where it all is going but we know God is in control. One way we know was yesterday. We were on our way to look at a piece of property that a lady who had recently been freed from an evil spirit wanted to donate to the foundation. I was thinking it was some bare land someplace. The woman gave her testimony on Sunday, which was, by the way, supposed to be our small family Christmas worship service. I think there were about 130 that showed up. It went very well and because of her testimony many of the close neighbors said they would return next Sunday. We will see what God has in mind. So anyway, as we drove along Phimpha and this lady were talking in Thai, but I can catch a little and I knew something was up. Phimpha told me that the place they were going was the house; God had showed her in a vision back in 2003.  The land had 3 buildings on it and one she believed was the blue wooden house God had shown her many years before. There were many people who were sick that were coming to her as she sat on the front porch. The vision she had of the house was from way back and the lady had taken off the front wooden porch and added a cement porch and kitchen to it. Phimpha described it too her just the way it was 9 years ago and the old blue paint still on it, was the exact same. So we know for certain it is to be used as a place for sickness or healing for His ministry in that area. Because it is wooden the termites have had their way with it for a long time, so there is much work to be done on it and the rest of the property too. We now have too many locations and not enough people to staff them all. Pray for more workers for us. God knows we need them so pray for His will to be done and it will be done.

We were donated another piece of property a month or so ago that will be a small worship area in another village. No building there or staff. God will be calling some more workers to us. If you happen to be one of those reading this and feel He is calling you, then do not be afraid. God has it all covered, just come and do what He is asking. The rewards will be many.

Jumping backwards some. As Phimpha was driving to our home base here for Worship this last Sunday, God spoke to her and said He wanted her to wash some of the member’s feet during service and also to have the bread and wine given out. She had not planned for it that, that day because of the many newcomers that would be there. She said OK.  But you know I do not have enough money anywhere to buy the grape juice to substitute for the wine. He said do not worry I will take care of it. So she called ahead and told the kids to get the glasses cleaned and that she had the grape juice, (faith) so have someone bake up some bread to use. She stopped at the convenience store in the next town to get the grape juice. She got out of the truck and waited in front of the store. Very shortly a man walked up to her and said Arjahn. (pastor) This is for you and handed her 500 baht (15USD). She asked what is this for? He said” “Just take it” and turned to walk away. She called over his shoulder. “God will bless you”. He turned and said: “I already got it”. He drove away. She had no idea who he was.  She had not seen him before. With God and the faith as small as a mustard seed, ALL THINGS are possible.    The washing of the feet was a new thing for us here but it was very moving. She did not tell them what was up just called some by name to the front. When they saw what she was doing I believe all cried, as well as I and many in the congregation. Most, with tears asked to wash her feet instead, but she said please let me do. Jesus words come to mind.  “Do this in remembrance of Me”

Please lift us up in prayer. My heart is heavy. Sorry I cannot say what for. God knows and He will honor them.

From your Brothers and Sister in Christ.

Far away but so close in Spirit.

All of us at Timothy House